My cousin, a dentist, became bored with mundane extractions, fillings, and teeth whitening. So he decided to specialise in crafting vampire fangs for niche clients.
I asked him, “Why the change?”
His response? He’d simply grown tired of working in a soulless job that sucked the life out of him.
I thought about joining the debate team,
but my friends talked me out of it.
My new Do-It-Yourself Orthopedic Clinic will be opening soon:
Brace Yourself.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
I child proofed my house.
The kids still got in.
My mood ring is missing.
I don't know how I feel about that.
If you suck at playing the trumpet,
that's why.
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
Police were called to a day care center
where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen the mall.
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