Found for Friday

 A married couple were in a terrible accident in which the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, ''Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.'' "My darling,'' he replied, ''

Think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.''

If you want to keep squirrels out of the bird feeder, just install a little climb-it control.

Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.

What top does an astronaut wear to the moon? Apollo shirt.

Dr. Jekyll's more successful second formula turned him into a world-class sprinter rather than a violent psychopath, proving that you can run but you can't always Hyde.

Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

Your nose is the scenter of your face.

ht/by John

 Bonus