Found For Friday

 A man stood in front of his bathroom mirror cleaning his teeth with mint flavored string. Very loudly, he would either grimace in pain as he cut his gums or coo as he felt the food particles pop free. As he progressed more "ahhhs" than "ows" were heard but the volume stayed the same. Annoyed at being disturbed, his wife came out of the bedroom and delivered a swift kick to his rear. "What the hell was that for?", the man demanded. His wife said over her shoulder as she returned to the bedroom,

"I just don't believe in sighing flossers"

The way to a man's heart is through his veins.

I had to throw my toaster away because it kept burning the bread

and I'm black toast intolerant

P O S

Two wind turbines are out in a field.

One turns to the other and asks,

“what kind of music do you like?”

The second one replies,

“I’m a huge metal fan.”

A humble person never blows his knows in public.

Children who fail their coloring exams

always need a shoulder to crayon.

Butchers link sausage to make ends meat.

My parents drank nothing but Australian beer.

I grew up in a Fosters home.