DAD'S FIRST DRINK WITH HIS SON ...
I took my son out for his first pint.
Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.
I got him a Guinness.
He didn't like it , so I drank it.
Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.
Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager ? He didn't.
I drank it.
I thought may be he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's, nope !
In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest.
He wouldn't even smell it. What could I do but drink it !
By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink ,
I was so bloody drunk I could hardly push his pram back home.
My kangaroo got a job in a bar.
He's a bouncer.
Advice from the ocean:
• Be Shore of Yourself
• Come Out of your Shell
• Take Time to Coast
I was abducted by a group of mimes.
They did things to me that were unheard of.
Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms.
There would be mass confusion
I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk,
but I never got the chants.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal!
It was a shitzu!
I'm so tired of all the political pamphlets I get in the mail.
Yesterday I got one asking for money for someone
I don't even know.
It said Elect Ric Bill.
Those who like to do the ironing find their pleasure in creases.
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