An anthropologist is studying a primitive society in the middle of the jungle when he develops constipation. Finding he has run out of medicine for that particular type of dysfunction, he tells the medicine doctor of the tribe he is studying.
The medicine man tells him not to worry; his people sometimes suffer from the same malady but they simply chew the leaves of a particular fern. The anthropologist, figuring that he has nothing to lose (the fern wasn't poisonous), decided to try this herbal medicine.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't
hit the high seas.
Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage?
It was wrong on so many levels.
My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!
Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.
1 comment:
As always Mr. Twain has the best aphorisms.
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