The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this fucking badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?.... do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your fucking BADGE!!"
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is "whack"?
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
An earthquake in Washington is obviously the government's fault.
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
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