Found For Friday

SENIOR TRYING TO SET PASSWORD

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER:     cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER:      boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER:     1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER:     50damnboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER:      50DAMNboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER:    50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER :     ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Mischievous lambs post their videos on ewe tube.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

The person who invented the door knocker won the No-bell prize.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I went to the doctor and told him I thought I was a kleptomaniac. He said "Here, take these pills." So I took them.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Where are average things made? In the satisfactory

I heard the new auto body shop that opened comes highly

wreck-a-mended.

My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out. So I listed the exercises I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.

When a neurologist relocates, does he change his mind?