An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.
Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.
Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.
That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. Why, that’s cruelty to animals! Have your husband take care of that right away!
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.
Well, dear, what exactly did he say?
He said the reflector is broken.
I can fix that in about two minutes. What else?
I’m not sure, Jacob ... something about the emergency brake...
PONDERISMS
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things and drink whatever comes out"? Hmm... I have
the same question about eggs.
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