Diary and some jokes

This is the second in a day row that I had to go to the doctors.  I had to go there and I was tested and poked and they made some evil radioactive tasting brew and then I had to have quiet for about 30 minutes.  

The second day in involved in fasting and I had my oatmeal in noon.  I am not compiling (like hell I am not) but it is necessary.  

I was able to do find some jokes that seem to fit with the nurse theme -  

Some of the nurses were very nice, others were just sort of there doing their doing their job and were about as fun as a wet rag.  Over it over I am I am I was better to easer to type so that is good.  

What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? "Some asshole has my pen!" 

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. 

  Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures? She was taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side. 

  How do you save a doctor from drowning? Take your foot off his head. 

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None - They just have a nursing assistant do it. 

What 's the difference between a nurse and a nun? A nun only serves one God. 

CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.