Found for Friday

Baptist Bras 
A man walks into the lingerie department of Macy's in New York City . He tells the sales lady, 'I would like a Southern Baptist bra for my wife, size--34B.'

With a quizzical look the sales lady asks, 'What kind of bra?'

He repeats, 'A Southern Baptist bra. My wife said to tell you that she wanted a Southern Baptist bra, and that you would know what she  wanted.'

'Oh, yes, now I understand,' says the sales lady. 'We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Most of our customers lately want the Catholic bra, the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra.'

Confused, and a little flustered, the man asks, 'So, what are the differences?'

The sales lady responds. 'It's really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses, the Salvation Army bra lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright.'

He muses on that information for a minute and says, 'Hmm. I know I'll regret asking, but what does the Southern Baptist bra do?'

'Ah,' she replied, 'the Southern Baptist bra makes mountains out of molehills!!!  

 (h/t from Colby)

Adult Truths

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still no know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was

younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5.  I'm pretty 

sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the 

person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment 

when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive 

for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray?  I 

don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me 

if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I 

swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know 

not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers.  I would bet on any given Friday or 

Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish!  Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just 

nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they 

said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team

up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers 

and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty.  Underwear gets dirty.  Pants?  Pants never get 

dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car

keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the 

Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button 

from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every 

time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 

and the first helmet was used in 1974.  That means it only took 100

years for men to realize that their brain is also important. 

 Ladies.....Quit Laughing.