Friday, January 31, 2014

Found for Friday


I recently bought a young 
registered Black Angus bull. I put him 
out with the herd but he just ate grass 
and wouldn't even look at a cow.I was 
beginning to think I had paid more for 
that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, 
I had the Vet come and have a look at 
him. He said the bull was very healthy,
but possibly just a little young, so he 
gave me some pills to feed him once 
per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days -- all 
my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with 
all  of my neighbour's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him but 
they kind of taste like peppermint. 

 The other day I held the door open for a clown. 
I thought it was a nice jester.
 Most airline food is pretty bad, but their haggis is just plane offal.
Dr. Jekyll's more successful second formula turned him into a world-class sprinter rather than a violent psychopath, proving that you can run but you can't always Hyde. 

 Isn't the Grand Canyon just gorges?


I tried to play the shoehorn but got only footnotes.


Most boat owners are afraid of buying new hats because they hate cap sizing.
 I went to a dance with a broken leg. During the slow dances my date could tell that I had a crutch on her.
Homonyms are a reel waist of thyme. 
 Definition of a will: a dead give away.
 Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 
 When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.


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