Friday, December 11, 2015

Found For Friday

 LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.

"to write with a broken pencil is  pointless."


"you can tune a  piano, but you can't tuna fish",


Even the smallest egg farms are multi-layer organizations.


A hen is an egg spurt at what she does.


An auctioneer often looks forbidding.


I can't decide which of two physicians to see. It's a paradox.


. A duck goes into a pharmacy and asks for lip balm.
Cashier: Certainly. Will you be paying for that with cash?
Duck: Can you put it on my bill?


Dad: what are you drinking, son?
Me: Soy milk.
Dad: Hola milk, soy padre


What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.


Nuts are so expensive these days. Nearly cost you an almond a leg


On cooking shows, there is little margarine of error.




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