Found For Friday

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," she replies.

He stands, says "Plethora," and sits back down.

"Thanks" says the woman. "That means a lot."

My friend went to a party and found himself
surrounded by former girl friends
who all married someone else.

Wow...talk about near Mrs.

The English rock group Electric Light Orchestra

did not have a conductor.

Rather, it had a semiconductor.

I've been making bad puns about Greek Gods.

I suppose I should Apollo-gize.

NEWS FLASH: Two cargo ships collided at sea.

One was carrying blue dye, the other was carrying red dye.

Both crews were marooned.

If you see a robery at an Apple store,

does that make you an iWitness?

Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

Somebody should start an airline for book lovers.

Every plane could have a library on board.

They could call in Jane Air.

I lost my watch at a party. I saw a guy step on it while
harassing a woman. I walked up to him and punched him in the nose.

"No one does that to a woman," I said. "Not on my watch."

Today a man knocked on my door and

asked for a small donation towards the community

swimming pool, so I gave him a glass a water.

The carnival is in town!

They have a new ride made entirely out of iron.

It's a ferrous wheel.

Rest in peace boiling water, you will be mist.

If I ever find out the name of the surgeon

who screwed up my limb transplant,
I'll kill him...with my bear hands

A lady moved to Alaska because of the high ratio

of men to women living there.

She returned because most of the men seemed strange.

Or as she put it -

The odds were good, but the goods were odd.