Found For Friday

Many years ago, a baker’s assistant called Richard the Pourer,
whose job it was to pour the dough mixture in the making of sausage rolls,
noted that he was running low on one of the necessary spices.
He sent his apprentice to the store to buy more.

Unfortunately, upon arriving at the shop,
the young man realized that he had forgotten the name of the ingredient.
All he could do was to tell the shopkeeper
that it was for Richard the Pourer, for batter for wurst.

We should legalize cannabis in all 50 states

and use the tax revenue to repair roads and highways.

We could call it Operation Pot Hole.

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend,

just duet!

A man was washing his car with his son.

After a while, his son said,

"Dad, why can't you just use a sponge?"

I bought a dog from a locksmith.

I took him home and he made a bolt for the door.

Me and my receding hairline?

We go way back.

I saw a sign that said falling rocks,

so I tried and it doesn't.

Evergreens might not mind winter,

but for all the other trees, spring is a great re-leaf.

I just got pulled over by a cop. He wanted to know if I had a Police record.

Apparently, "Roxanne" was not the answer he wanted.

My coworker said their joints were getting weaker,

I told them to roll them tighter

I went to the petting zoo and saw a sheep scratching itself.

Turns out it had fleece.

Making pickles can sometimes be a real dill-emma.

I tried to Walk Like an Egyptian.

A short time later I needed a Cairo-practor.

I should have used ketchup on my fries.

Heinz sight is 20-20.

A new restaurant opened in an old auto repair shop building.

I won't eat there.

I've heard their food has lots of carbs.

I've been hiding from exercise.

I'm in the fitness protection program