Found For Friday

 The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly man. His clothes were disheveled and he looked tired and poor. "Can I help you?" the madam asked. "I would like to see Natalie, please," said the old man. The madam could not quite contain her sneer. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would like to see someone else."

"No, I must see Natalie," he insisted. Just then Natalie appeared. She appraised the man in a single glance, and before he could speak a word, she informed him that her usual price was $1,000 per visit.

Without blinking, he reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, after which the man calmly left.

The next night he appeared again, and again he asked to see Natalie. Natalie was surprised; at her rates, no one had ever come back two nights in a row. "But there are no discounts," she told him. "The fee will be $1000." Again the old man counted out the required sum, the two went up to the room, and an hour later he calmly left.

When he showed up for a third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Natalie the money, and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Natalie could not help asking him: "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?" "I am from Minsk," he answered.

"Really?" said Natalie, "I have a sister who lives there."

"Yes, I know," replied the old man. "She gave me $3,000 to give to you."

 If I were a rapper my name would be "Gershwin" and I'd distribute my music exclusively on compact disks with blue cover art.

Because then they'd be Gershwin's Rap CDs in Blue.

I went to the bank yesterday to make a withdrawal.

I almost lost my balance.

When people at work accused me of being OCD,

I immediately put them all in their place.

Marvin Gaye kept a sheep in my vineyard.
He’d herd it through the grapevine.

After eating the ship, the sea monster needed an Alka seltzer

because he could not believe he ate the hull thing.

A clever man discovered a rock which helped guide Viking long-ships through the fog. It was a lode off their mines.

Why was the kings army too tired to fight?

Too many sleepless knights

My dentist wanted to take a bunch of X-rays today. I was surprised.

I didn't think dentists liked tooth pics.

I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches but I realized

it would be a waist of time.

I have a friend who is a sleepwalking nun.

She's a Roamin' Catholic.

 Wolfgang the sausage maker was proud of his work. Of all the sausage makers in Frankfurt he knew he wasn't the wurst..

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