Friday, June 19, 2015

Found For Friday

 Sister Mary and Sister Agnes were driving along one day in Sister Mary's car, when all of a sudden a vampire bat landed on the windshield. Sister Mary was astonished and frightened. "Oh, my goodness! What should I do?" she asked.
"Do yer windshield wipers work?" asked Sister Agnes. "Why, yes," replied Sister Mary. "Well, turn on yer windshield wipers," suggested Sister Agnes. So Sister Mary turned on the windshield wipers, but it failed to dislodge the bat. "NOW what do I do?" she asked.
"Do ya have fluid in yer windshield sprayer?" asked Sister Agnes. "Why, yes," replied Sister Mary. "In fact, it's holy water, from the Vatican." "Then spray the bat with it," suggested Sister Agnes. So Sister Mary activated the windshield sprayers, but it failed to dislodge the bat. "NOW what do I do?" she asked.
"Do ya have yer rosary with ya?" asked Sister Agnes. "Why, yes," replied Sister Mary. "Well, show him yer cross," suggested Sister Agnes. So Sister Mary rolled down the window and leaned out, and she shouted "Hey, you frickin' bat! Get off my damn car!"


Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.


After the transvestite escaped from prison the only thing the police could tell the press was that she was still a broad.


The other day I saw a magician walking down the street and turn into a drugstore.


Two rug dealers talked by telephone. They talked Persian to Persian.


Q: Why shouldn't you play poker with the world's fastest animal?
A: Because he's a cheet-ah!


If a restaurant isn't sweet to its chefs they might dessert.


When corduroy pillow covers were sold. They made head lines.


Musicians need a leader because they don't know how to conduct themselves.


When I'm feeling tired at work I just use my smartphone to download a nap.


A no-fly zone prohibits zippers.


Question: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
Answer: To get to the same side.


Q. What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
A. Can you make me one with everything?



When an eel bites your thigh as you're just swimming by that's a moray.




1 comment:

Ur-spo said...

I like the sonnet-gram.