Found For Friday

 A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that truck?!"

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents.

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars."

So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?"

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "I don"t know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what"s going on."

So the boy"s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias.

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, I but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did.

The drunk went into the barbershop and said, 'Take a little off the tope.'

The man shed a tear as he saw his old storage space come down.

Having been diagnosed with a hernia has bothered me to my core.

What kind of bats like to hang from ropes? Acrobats.

Hear about the new EU approved pan? Apparently it isn't Greece proof.

I asked Kermit the Frog what I should use to join the pieces of metal, but all he said was, 'Rivet, rivet.'

I have been blogging about my recent surgery and recovery from abdominal surgery. I call my blog 'The Chronicles of Hernia'.

My parents had back to back appointments at the chiropractor.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

I was going to tell you a joke about infinity, but it didn't have an ending!

My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

My tailor is happy to make a pair of pants for me, or at least sew it seams.