Found For Friday

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass ?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me.

They are over there eating grass under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the second poor man he stated,

"You may come with us, also."

The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said,

"But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task,

even for a car as large as the limousine.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place.

The grass is almost a foot high."

Come on . . . did you really think there was such a thing as a heart-warming lawyer story?

Look at Congress  -- over 300 Lawyers!!!

Sod farms provide instant grassification.

A church welcomes all denominations but prefers tens and twenties.

"What do you call it when 20 people get food poisoning at an Italian restaurant?"

"Parmageddon"

When the musician got in a car accident, his guitar was destroyed. The accident was a Fender bender.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Kiwi, an Eskimo, a Fijian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Spaniard, a Mongolian, a Tibetan, a Pole, a Mexican, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Indian, an Italian, a Brazilian, a Kenyan, a South African, a Filipino, a Pakistani, a Korean, an Argentinean, a Lithuanian, a Dane, a Finn, a Swede, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Croat, and a Panamanian go to a fancy bar...

The bouncer says: "Sorry. I can't let you in without a Thai."