Friday, May 12, 2017

Found for Friday

In medieval times the King's Guards were off duty and carousing through the red light section of town. In one of the lowest dives of all the taverns, the Captain of the Guards spied the Lady Gwendolyn, Mistress of the Court's Champion Sir Cumference. Approaching this high born Lady in such a low dive, he asked:

"What's a Knight's girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Spying via internet-enabled devices is going too far.

I think my roomba is gathering dirt on me.

How do cannibals cater for parties?

With a George Four-man grill.

I was going to send you a small statuette of a feline's backside, but I broke it. It was a total catastrophe.

An optometrist fell into his lens grinder.

He made a spectacle of himself.

Did you hear about the online origami store? It folded.

I asked the lion what he was doing in my wardrobe.

He said, "Narnia business."

All students in Helsinki go to Finnishing school.

I don't want to get technical but according to chemistry,

alcohol IS a solution.

Am I just getting old, or have death puns become moribund-ant lately?

Even the accountant had his own handmade spread sheet.

The linen shop gave its employees free bedding.

What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.

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