...the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. Geo. Washington Feb. 22, 1732

Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
Robert Kennedy, South Africa 1966.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Found For Friday

 Warning Punny Humor follows:

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

 A will is a dead giveaway.

 If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

 The batteries were given out free of charge

Even though he contributes either the X or Y chromosome, when a father chooses the sex of his child it's just a sperm of the moment decision
Dr. Jekyll's more successful second formula turned him into a world-class sprinter rather than a violent psychopath, proving that you can run but you can't always Hyde.
An electrician claimed that his truck was a volts wagon.

The psychotic florist created many flower derangements.
When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.
The truly enlightened have homes with two Karma garages.

 When you get a transfusion in a Taiwanese hospital, you receive Taipei blood.
What do you mean you can't tuna fish? Just adjust its scales.
What did the mama tire and the papa tire name their baby girl tire? Michelle Lynn.
 Take caution if you date a gardener. They can be a little rough around the hedges.

She could only compose music in 3/4 time. She had waltz timer's disease.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
 Why was the Tibetan rooster unusual? Himalayan eggs!
If a Monk throws a hissy fit, is it a temple tantrum?
A job circumcising elephants isn't so bad. The base salary is small but the tips are big.

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