Found For Friday

Ole was arrested one night while walking 

bare naked down the streets of the little town 

of Alexandria, Minnesota . The policeman, 

who was a good friend of Ole' said,'Ole...What

in the world are you doing? 

Where are your clothes? You're naked.'

'Yah, I know,' said Ole. 'You see, I vas over 

to  dat 'playboy' Swen's for his birthday 

party. 

Dere vas about ten of us. Der vas boys and 

girls.'

'Is that right?', his policeman friend asked.

'Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Swen, he says, 'Everybody get into the 

bedroom! 'So vee all go into the bedroom....where den he yells, 

'Everybody git naked!' 'Vel, vee all got undressed. Den he yells, 

'Everybody go to town!'

I guess I'm the first one here!

On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put 

his hand on Lena 's knee. Giggling, Lena said, 'Ole, you can go farther 

than that if you vant to.

So Ole drove to Dulute.

The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in 

bed and Ole answers. 'Vell how da hell should I know, dats two 

tousand miles from here' he says and hangs up.

'Who vas dat?' asks Lena .

'I donno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear.’

Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars

inquired how she was doing with it.

'Oh,' said Ole, 'I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet.' 'How come?' 

asked Lars.

'Vell,' Ole answered, 'because vith a clarinet, she can't sing.

Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. 

One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole 

reached over and patted Lena on her knee. 'Lena , vat ever happened 

tew our sex relations?' He asked.

'Vell, Ole, I yust don't know,' replied Lena . 'I don't tink ve even got a 

card from dem last Christmas.'

Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned 

with only one fish. 'The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400' said the 

first Norwegian.

'Vell,' said the other one, 'At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more.'

  A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, 'Yep, dat's her!'

  When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, 'I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents.'

  The toilet seat was invented in Minnesota, but twenty years later an North Dakotan invented the hole in it.

 Palate Cleanser

From MadPriest  - Three spies are captured. One is French, one is 

English and the other is Italian.

Their captors come into the cell and grab the French spy and tie his 

hands behind a chair in the next room. They torture him for two hours 

before he answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.

The captors throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the 

English spy. They tie his hands behind the chair as well and torture 

him for four hours before he tells them what they want to know.

They throw him back into the cell and grab the Italian spy. They tie his 

hands behind the chair and begin torturing him.

Four hours go by, and the spy isn't talking. Then eight hours, then 

sixteen, and after twenty four hours they give up and throw him back 

into the cell.

The English and French spies are impressed, and ask him how he 

managed to not talk.

The Italian spy responds, "I wanted to, but I couldn't move my hands!

Back to Minnesota   
Just in case ya  didn't  know...

 

Minnesota became the  32nd state on May 11, 1858 and was 

originally settled by a lost  tribe of Norwegians seeking refuge

from the searing heat of  Wisconsin 's winters.

 

      Minnesota  gets it's name from the Sioux Indian word "mah-nee-soo-tah,"  meaning, "No, really... They eat fish soaked in  lye."

 

 The  state song of Minnesota is "Someday the Vikings will... Aw, never  mind."
 

    The  Mall of America in Bloomington , Minnesota covers 9.5 million  square feet and has enough space to hold 185,000 idiot teenagers  yapping away on cell phones.

  Madison,   Minnesota is known as "the lutefisk capital of the world." Avoid  this city at all costs.

 "The  Mary Tyler Moore Show" was set in Minneapolis , Minnesota , and  was Mary's first real acting job since leaving the "Dick van Dyke  Show. The show about a single woman's struggle to find happiness  in the big city was originally titled "Life Without Dick," but  that was changed for some reason.

  Minnesota   license plates are blue & white and contain the phrase  "Blizzards on the 4th of July - you get used to  it."

 The  snowmobile was invented in Roseau , Minnesota so as to allow  families a means of attending 4th of July  picnics