Friday, November 29, 2013

Found For Friday

 An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE: "JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW. P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE."

 A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
 Dijon vu - the same mustard as before


Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

 Those who jump off a bridge in Paris must be in Seine

 A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy

 Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.

 A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
 Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
 Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
 A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
 She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
 If you don’t pay your exorcist, you’ll be repossessed.

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