Found for Friday

 An octopus walks into a bar and sees a band playing in the corner. He walks up and says “I’m the best musician in the world. I can play any instrument you like”. So an Englishman hands him a guitar. The octopus plays it better than Jimi Hendrix. An Irishman says “Okay, how about this?” and shows him to the piano. The octopus sits down and plays it like never before – Better than Elton John. Finally, a Scotsman says “Alright, let’s see ya play this then” and hands him a set of bagpipes. The octopus looks at them and fumbles with them. Couple more minutes and he’s still struggling and there’s no sound coming out. Couple more minutes and still nothing so the Scotsman says “Oh, so can you not play it then?” And the octopus says “Play it? I’m gonna make love to her when I get her pajamas off”

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

~ Prince Philip 

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

~ Emo Philips.

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

~ Harrison Ford

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree.

~ Spike Milligan

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.

~ Robin Hall

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.

~ Jean Rostand.

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I was just as happy as when I had 48 million.

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

 We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

~ WH Auden

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.

~ Jonathan Katz

If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.

~ Johnny Carson

I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.

~ Arthur C. Clarke

A FALCON NESTING IN A TREE !!

I've received many remarkable nature photographs over the years but this photo of a nesting falcon is perhaps the most remarkable Nature shot that I've ever seen. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Nature is truly breath-taking!

I've made a special effort to make sure to send this to most of my older friends. You younger ones probably have never seen a falcon and wouldn't recognize it.