Found For Friday

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar In downtown Post Lake by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. 

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 

'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' 

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. 

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy...Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!'

 An instructor at an ice cream parlor is a sundae school teacher.

 If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.

 Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.

 A German walks into a bar and says, "I'm tired, I'm thirsty, I must have beer."

A Frenchman walks into a bar and says, "I'm tired, I'm thirsty, I must have wine."

A hypochondriac walks into a bar and says, "I'm tired, I'm thirsty, I must have diabetes."

A golf club walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve him. "Why?" asks the golf club. The bartender says, "I know you'll be driving later." 

'OLD' IS WHEN.... Your sweetie says 'Let's go upstairs and make love' And you answer: 'Pick one, I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you On your new alligator shoes And you're barefoot!

'OLD' IS WHEN... A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy ... And your pacemaker opens the garage door!

'OLD' IS WHEN.... You don't care where your spouse goes .. Just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down By the doctor instead of by the police

'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car .. In the parking lot. 

'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up To use the bathroom.

AND 
'OLD' IS WHEN.....
You are not sure these are jokes!