Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a Little prophet.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan.)
At 78 years of age, Wally married Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband was so old, Anne decided that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms because of her concern that her new but aged husband might overexert himself if they spent the entire night together. After the wedding festivities, Anne prepared herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock came, the door opened, and there was Wally, her 78 year old groom, ready for action. They united as one. All went well; Wally took leave of his bride; and she prepared for sleep.
After a few minutes, Anne heard another knock on her bedroom door, and it was Wally again - ready for more. Somewhat surprised, Anne consented for more coupling. When the newlyweds were done, Wally kissed his bride, bade her a fond goodnight, and left. Just as she was set to sleep again..., you guessed it..... Wally was back again, rapping on the door, as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more activity.
Once again they enjoyed each other, but as Wally prepared to leave again, his young bride opined, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Wally."
Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turned to Anne and replied, "You mean I was here already?"
HOW TO START A FIGHT
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
The latest survey shows that three out of four people makeup 75% of the population.
1 comment:
Both Someone and I liked the jokes.
We will use the "Black Hole of need" comment.
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