Happy New Year

 Everybody seems to be doing the how bad was last year and how good is next year going to be type of post right now.  I started to look back over my posts for this past year but frankly 2011 was such a shitty year I don't want to relive it.  I wrote last year about Bailey and how worried I was about him and if you want you can search it out.  Suffice it to say he is still around and my greatest pleasure seems to be to be able to hold him while he sleeps and make him comfortable.  Miles is coming over to spend New Year's Eve with me.  I do not go out or celebrate in memory of two wonderful friends who had a run in with a train on New Year's Eve and were both killed.

I am very thankful for all of the blog readers and friends I have made through this blog. My computer is going to have to go into the shop because it is acting up.  Hopefully it won't be too expensive but I may have to be off line starting sometime Tuesday.  Happy New Year.  Thanks for stopping by. ARTYAL.  Always Remember That You Are Loved

St. John's Day in Winter Festive Board

Photos from last night's excellent Festive Board at Specialis Procer Lodge. A good time was had by all.

Web Side Story

Kathy had this on Facebook. I love it.

Kennedy Center Honors -

What do Teachers Make?

This needs to be seen ever once in awhile. Proud to have been a teacher.

Found For Friday

A young man at a New Year’s party turned to his friend and asked him for a cigarette.

“I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,” said his friend.

“I’m in the process of quitting,” the man replied, “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.”

“What’s phase one?’” asked his friend. 

“I’ve quit buying.”

Why your bartender is better than your shrink

Ever since he was a child, George had a fear of someone hiding under his bed at night.  He knew there was nobody under the bed, because he checked, every night.  But he would  spring awake every night in a panic, sweating, with a racing pulse.  Finally, he decided that something needed to be done.  So he went to his local shrink.

George told the shrink, "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink, cinfidently. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge?" asked George.

"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.

"I'll sleep on it," George said.  (Hmmm, kinda ironic, since he couldn't sleep, but let's just call that a figure of speech.)

Six months later the doctor met George on the street. "Why didn't you come back to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked.

"Well," answered George, "Eighty bucks a visit times three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup."

"Is that so!", snorted the shrink with more than a bit of attitude. "And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

George smirked and replied, "He told me to cut the legs off my bed!"

FORGET THE SHRINKS.  HAVE A DRINK AND SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BARTENDER!

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his Wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that Menopause is mentioned in the Bible.  Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly Wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

 Thanks for stopping by,  Have a wonderful New Year's Eve and a terrific 2012.

Aunt Chippie

I keep thinking I need to write something and then when I go on Facebook and find this from one of my Facebook Friends I have to share it.  I have not laughed this hard all year long.  I love this woman.

Kennedy Center Honors

I watched this show Tuesday Evening. for many years it is the one show I stay home for to watch live and it was a good thing I did because the record function on the machine didn't work.  I was thrilled, excited, touched, entertained and enthralled for the two hours the show was on.  Great artists and well worthy of the honors.  I am glad I found this.... it wasn't shown on the TV show and I always like to see the events at the White House.

Vesuvius Pizza - This 'n that

 A bit of wisdom found on Facebook. And the very first thing (one) to forgive is ourselves for whatever we may have done unintentionally.  However if we have hurt someone intentionally it is going to take more than self-forgiveness to move on.

I shared this photo on Facebook,  then I noticed something about it and edited it our and then I decided that I liked the unedited version   so here it is. He was watching me eat a rare roast beef sandwich and  wanted his taste.  (He got it)

Monday evening my sister and nephew and I went to Vesuvius Pizza for supper.  Jon and I both had the #9 - _A unique pizza with traditional La Quercia coppa (also called "capicolla"), 

goat cheese, crushed red pepper, and arugula._"  I had them leave the red peppers off mine as I am not a spicy fan. It was delicious and as they said the fact that the ovens fire at over 800 degrees meant that the pizza was out very fast.  The wine was very good also.

We went there because Jon has a friend who works there and also because they carry wine and he wanted to have wine with his pizza.  I must admit that it was one of the best pizza's I have ever eaten. 

I am kind of disgruntled with Black Market Pizza because after I collected 10 "Louies" and I called in to have my free one delivered I was told they no longer delivered free pizzas and I would have to come pick it up...(I am perfectly willing to pay the delivery fee and to tip the driver the usual amount but I prefer to have the pizza delivered.)  So I have not ordered from them for awhile.  And I think I have lost one of the Louies so I won't be going there for awhile (My mother always did say that I was "willing to cut off my nose to spite my face." and I haven't changed.  Did I mention that I no longer shop at Target?  They wanted to scan my driver's license in order for me to purchase a bottle of wine...there are other places to shop.)  

The pizza when it came was delicious.  My sister got a ham and pineapple pizza and for dessert we all had Tiramisu and it also was delicious and it was a huge piece - (Not like some places where you pay a big price for a postage size serving) -  Ginny had never had it before.  Think of that 59 years old and never tasted tiramisu.  I am glad to have given her the experience.  

Speaking of ages, our family ages form an interesting pattern.  On November 13 I became 70, in February my mother would have been 100, my sister will turn 60 in July and Jon will be 30.  That is the only way I can keep track of them. Mom and Ginny and I are all "water" signs. Jon is not.  Which explains a lot but I won't go into that.  

Thanks for stopping by and do visit Vesuvius Wood Fired Pizza when you get a chance.

The Scarlet Lion

When I finished Elizabeth Chadwick's The Greatest Knight about William Marshal of England I was disappointed because I the rest of the story was still untold.  It left off in the middle of his life,

This knight who had served Henry, Richard and King John of England had much more to accomplish according to the on-line investigation I had been doing.

So I was pleased to find that the second half of the story was told in another book.  The Scarlet Lion picks up where The Greatest Knight leaves off and continues the story.  And it is just as well told as the first book.

Elizabeth Chadwick tells the story from the standpoint of the women in the Earl's life.  His wife the Countess who was his advisor, helper, confidant and deputy to run the estates when he was gone fighting.  It paints a picture of life in the 1200's when the stability of the lives could very well be dependent upon the whim of one person.  The king could make life easy or hard.

It was very enjoyable and I would recommend it to anyone who likes a good historical novel.  Elizabeth is working on a novel of Eleanor of Aquitaine.  I can't wait for it to come out.

Miles on Monday

Happy Monday

Marsengill Christmas Dinner

 Jerry Marsengill once told me that he wished he had done more for people than (he felt) he had.  It is a measure of his humility that he did not realise how much he had done.  A Masonic scholar, ritualist and mainstay of the Des Moines and Iowa Masonic bodies for many years, Jerry had the idea to hold a free Christmas Dinner for anyone who would be alone on Christmas or who just needed a meal.  The dinners have continued and are now named for him.   Masons from all over central Iowa contribute funds and donate time to help with this event.  They are held in the Des Moines Scottish Rite Masonic Center


For those who can't make it to the Center they will go out and pick them up and bring them down and will also deliver meals.  My job is to answer the phone in the office and call the orders downstairs to the delivery fellows.  They brought me up a meal and it was more than I could eat but it was delicious. 

Ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, green beans (of course) and pumpkin pie.

Six to Eight Black Men - A reading by David Sedaris

This is laugh out loud funny.

I do like these people - A message from the President and Mrs. Obama

A little Christmas Music

Christmas Card

Christmas Eve Pun

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his reindeer. Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn’t know which one it was. It happened again, only louder this time. “Snort sniff honk honk snort!”

Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. “Shhh!” Santa hissed. “Please be quiet!”

He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!” Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.

Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!”

None of the reindeer stepped forward.

Santa held up a piece of paper. “I know who it is and I have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you a chance to do the right thing on your own.”

Still none of the reindeer came forward. So Santa did the only thing he could do. He read off the rude-nosed reindeer…

Merry Christmas

In lieu of a Christmas Card or Christmas letter (Frankly I would just as soon forget 2011) please watch and consider this your Christmas Card from me. Instead of spending the money for cards and stamps I gave to a couple of Charities.

Found For Friday (Christmas Edition)

This is the tale of the Crist family who worked at a zoo. Each year they claimed to be able to predict the overall mood of the year by watching the animals. In particular, the gnu’s who, if their ears were forward, predicted a successful, joyous year, but it their ears were laid back flat, predicted a sorrowful, disastrous year. One year it was young Mary’s turn to “survey” the animals and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to check on the gnus. Well, she botched it, predicting a bad year, when in fact it was quite good. In explanation, the next winter solstice, the local newspaper ran the following headline: ... Mary Crist misses an happy gnu’s ear!

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I aredivorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and says, "Done! Not only are they're coming for Christmas - but they're paying their own way too."

During the offseason, Santa decided to try his hand at stand up comedy:

With all my expertise over the years I’ve learned some interesting things. For instance, if a bee and a doorbell get married, what kind of children to you think they’ll have? Humdingers!....And I’ve learned why penguins cross the road only halfway—they like to lay it on the line.....I deliver toys to a boy who parts his hair from ear to ear. Its a real problem—people keep whispering in his nose!

People always have questions about my reindeer. For instance, they want to know why reindeer wear bells. I tell them it’s because their horns don’t work.....Or they ask, “How much reindeer feed do you get for a quarter?” My answer: “None. Quarters don’t eat reindeer feed!”

Then there are the elves. One of the elves is great at magic. He walked around the corner and turned into an outhouse....One elf snored so loud he woke himself up. But then he solved the problem-- he started sleeping in the next room...

 Everyone knows the elves are famous for the baths they take each year. But perhaps you don’t know what the first elf in the tub is called—he’s the ringleader.....We’ve got one elf who just hates to take baths. Once he got so dirty that when he finally took a bath he found some underwear he thought he’d lost three years before.

Everyone knows the part of the Christmas story where there was no room for Joseph and Mary at the Inn ... but what excuse could the Innkeeper have for turning away the pregnant mother of the Savior of the world?

10. Roman’s “Stay Free” promotion a bit too successful.

9. Wife said he couldn’t accept olive wood carvings as payment anymore.

8. Too busy getting new “Motel One” franchise going.

7. Last pregnant lady riding a donkey took all their towels.
6. Filled up for the “Caesar Impersonators’” convention.
5. Didn’t accept the Judean Express Card.
4. Last room left was by the ice machine.
3. Nazareth Shriners tore up the place the night before.
2. Closed front desk early to take family to watch unique star.
1. No last names, no service.

Do you know what would have happened if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men ?

Women would say:

They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.

Here’s Men’s rebuttal.....

Yeah, and do you know what they said would have said when they left?

■“Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?”

■“That baby doesn’t look anything like Joseph!”

■“Can you believe they let all of those disgusting animals in the house?”

■“I heard that Joseph isn’t even working right now!”

■“And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!”

■“Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole dish back?”

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!!