Found For Friday

 STORY FROM A HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER 


I made a traffic stop on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS.

I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance.

The lady took out the required information and handed it to me.

In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a conceal carry permit.

I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time.

She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box.

Something---body language, or the way she said it---made me want to ask if she had any other firearms.

She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console.

Now I had to ask one more time if that was all.

She responded once again that she did have just one more, a 38 special in her purse.

I then asked her what was she so afraid of.
She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a damn thing!"

When vegetables want to converse with petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.

I don't like hanging out at IHOP, that place gives me the crepes!

 One evening King Arthur's men discovered Sir Lancelot's moonshine whiskey operation and shattered the still of the knight.

I write my name in my shirts so that I will have collar ID.

 Calves take well to bottle feeding because one nipple is as good as an udder.

If a pig loses it's voice is it disgruntled?

When the Liberty Bell was forged, the Philadelphia city council decided to celebrate the inauguration by having a pie baking competition. 


 There would be two categories. The best bell-shaped pie and the best overall pie. Competition was furious but all ended well as one of the winners was a popular senior nun from their local community who baked a superb vegetable dish. It had to be.

Everybody knows that Mother Teresa Wins No Bell Peas Pie.

 If life gives you melons, you could have dyslexia.

 Scientists have found that making tea is therapeutic because boiling the water raises your self of steam.

 Bakers earn the majority of their income in the morning, they earn most of their dough at yeast by a leaven o'clock.

Have a wonderful week-end.  Thanks for stopping by.  Hugs, j