Found For Friday

A petrol station owner was trying to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'

Soon one of his regular customers pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

The customer guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.'

A week later, the same man, this time accompanied by a friend, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the
correct number. The man guessed 2 this time.

The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.'

As they were driving away he said to his friend, 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'

His friend replied, 'No it ain't. It's not rigged at all at all. My wife won twice last week.'

 Three archaeology digs:

After having  dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York  scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors  already had a telephone network more than 100 years  ago.

Not  to be outdone by the New Yorkers, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet and shortly  after, a story in an LA newspaper read: "California  archaeologists discover 200 year old copper wire, they have concluded that their ancestors already had an  advanced high-tech communications network a hundred  years earlier than the New Yorkers."

One week later, a local newspaper in Iowa reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his  pasture near Story City, Iowa, Ole, a self-taught  archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely  nothing. Ole, has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Iowa  had already gone wireless."

It makes one proud to have lived in the great state of Iowa.

 I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, “That’s us in ten years.”

 
 
He relied, “That’s a mirror, you dumb-ass!”

 Words of Wisdom: Don't join dangerous cults - Practice safe sects!

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

I've been called a rare commodity. I wonder if that makes me silver or gold? I guess I could be either ore.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because it has a silent p!

 A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'We don't serve bacteria in this place.' The bacteria said, 'But I work here, I'm staph.'

Bird-dogs are great for music, because they're both woofers and tweeters.

Optometrists often moonlight as jazz musicians so they can continue to improve-eyes.


To kill a circus in one blow, go for the juggler.

When the branding iron was invented, cattle were very impressed.

You know your florists are a bit psychotic when they start making flower derangements.

Have a wonderful week-end-  Thanks for stopping by. Hugs,