Found For Friday

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other seniors who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

Harold Jenkins is such a  person:  THIS  IS QUOTED FROM HAROLD:  "I've  often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're  retired?'  Well ... I'm fortunate to have a  chemical engineering background and one of the things  I enjoy most is converting beer, wine, and whiskey  into urine. It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying, and  fulfilling.  I do it every day, and I really  enjoy it." Harold  should be an inspiration to us  all.  AN INDIFFERENT BULL A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. A couple of weeks later the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks delighted: "That bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!" "Wow," says his friend, "what did the vet do to that bull?" "Just gave him some pills'" said the farmer. "What kind of pills?" asked his friend. "I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."  An 86-year-old very wealthy man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 yr-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc ?' The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. 'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle, and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.. Now, what do you think of that ?' asked the doctor. The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.' The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'  The man who worked at the watch factory was very funny. He stood about all day making faces.  Propagate - leaving your garden wide open.  Its okay to watch an elephant bathe as they usually have their trunks on.  I don't find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency.  With only one piece of wood, I tried to convince the fire to light by use of a monologue.  Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.  It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me