A blond-haired man was on vacation in the backwoods depths of Lafourche Parish, Louisiana. He wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but he didn't want to pay the high prices.
After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the local shopkeepers, the man said, "Well, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young man standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. He took aim at an alligator, killed it, and hauled it up by its tail onto the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond flipped the alligator on its back and then shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
CHURCH LADIES WITH TYPEWRITERS
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
MUPHY'S 12 OTHER LAWS
by Grandmère Mimi
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90%probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If the shoe fits, get another just like it.
8. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
10. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
11. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
12. When you find you cannot do anything and have failed at even doing nothing......Run for a Congress seat.
Have a great week-end and remember to eat your Oatmeal!
1 comment:
I love the iPeed app! Though in Harper's case it wouldn't help. She is a creature of habit and seems to have no problem locating the exact same spot on every walk.
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