Found For Friday

We had a power outage Sunday and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately.

It was raining (pouring, actually).  I couldn’t go play golf, go sailing,  nothing.   So I talked to my wife for about an hour and a half.

She seems like a nice person

.

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, the statistician yells “We got ‘em!”

Some of these are repeats. And they are typed in all caps but I am using them anyway.

1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO  TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A  NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

 3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM  MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND  APES?

4. THE MAIN REASON THAT  SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS  LIVE.

 5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE  AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?"  SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE  PURPOSE.

 6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO  HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

 7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS  SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH  SOAP?

8. IF SOMEONE WITH  MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT  CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

 9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD  FOR SYNONYM?

   10. WHERE DO FOREST  RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

 11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN  YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED  PLANT?

(to be continued)

With my new diet I now eat Oatmeal for breakfast.

Ant thanks to John K for most of today and all of his many MEME's especially about the Oatmeals he has supplied me for the Blog. I really appreciate them. Have a great week-end.  The trees are going to be great this week.