August Review/Two Women

There are some things about this August that I won't remember with fondness. For one thing a person I had thought was my friend turned out not to be one and that hurts. I spent a lot of time thinking through the situation and have decided that I still have many friends and he probably wasn't a real one anyway. You help your friends, you don't treat them with coldness. (Note:  Turns out I was wrong.  Still my friend and I am grateful)

I read this in one of the books I read this month.

“ I’ve got a theory. I think most people hate themselves. They may not know it but they do. I have yet to meet a really secure human being; by secure I mean someone who doesn’t need constant maintenance on his self-esteem, usually from outside sources. I know all the self-help books say we don’t need other people’s positive feedback to like ourselves, but that’s bullshit. It’s been my experience that self-love only becomes possible after receiving an inordinate amount of external validation, usually from a person who adores you. And that’s a best-case scenario. I think instead most people get saddled with someone even more bogged down by self-loathing than they are themselves, and the relationship turns into an unconscious, morbidly dysfunctional, please bring-your-own-nails crucifixion party.”

I am not saying that this is true for everyone but it certainly seems that way for me right now. Fortunately some friends have/are helped/helping me through the situation and I will probably be better off not participating in as many activities as I was anyway. I need to stop giving this person free rent in my head and move on. "That should take care of that!" 'Nuff said.

For whatever reason (probably escapism) I read a lot of books this month.

The Tenderness of Wolves by Stef Penny.
Black Order by James Rollins
Gates of Hades by Gregg Loomis
The King of Lies by John Hart
Leave Myself Behind by Bart Yates (The quote above was from this book)
Without Reservations by J.L. Langley
Knights of the Black and White by Jack Whyte
Jack Whyte is an excellent author. I read his series on King Arthur and am looking forward to the second in this series about the Knights Templar.
Speaking of the Knights Templar I also have The Templar Code for Dummies by Chris Hodap that I pick up and read occasionally and The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff which is also a pick-up occasionally and read book.
I am currently a little over halfway through The Sanctuary by Raymond Khoury.

My favorite book this month was Alexander McCall Smith's book The Careful Use of Compliments.

I suppose the fact that there wasn't much on Television is also a factor.

I was reminded on one of the blogs that I read that it was ten years ago today that Princess Diana was killed in Paris. She and her boyfriend were being chased by photographers and their driver had had to much to drink and crashed the car. I remember sitting up late to watch it on television. The next days the drama unfolded with the people of the world pouring out their love and sympathy for her sons.

Diana was an interesting person. She was beautiful. No doubt about that. She also knew how to manipulate people and the press. She used them to get her way. She was one of those people (like my former friend) who don't really have to do anything to get people to like them. People just do. I am not going to minimize her accomplishments. She was one of the first to go into AIDS wards and touch those who had this dread disease. She walked where there were land mines and pointed up the dangers surrounding them. She was a great mother to her boys and saw to it that they had as normal a childhood as possible under the circumstances.

People seem to love watching the "royals" and either building them up or putting them down. They aren't allowed to be normal and they pay dearly for their privileges. I also remember the tons of flowers that were placed outside the palaces in tribute to her. I thought at the time that this was just the worship of a person. We tend to do that. We idolize celebrities, movie stars, politicians, etc. and forget that they are just human beings with all the attendant problems and needs as everybody else.

Mother Teresa also died ten years ago. Actually she died on September 5 but the two deaths coming so close together they are linked in my mind. She also helped a lot of people and in her own way I found her very beautiful. Her writings have just been published and in them we find that she held serious doubts as to her faith during most of her life. I find that inspiring. Here is a woman who everyone had revered because of her dedication to her church and to doing good among the poor and yet she felt abandoned by her God. No matter she went right on doing good and she was as deserving of being revered as was Diana (if not more so - after all she did not have a palace to sleep in at night)

Two women who did much good and yet we know they were human beings. Mother Teresa is probably going to be made a saint. That is OK. The idea of sainthood for her will comfort many people. The whole idea of her doubts brings her closer to the idea of Jesus in my book. After all he spent hours and days in prayer and communion and still asked on the cross. “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” – which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Every once in awhile I run across a phrase in a book that strikes a cord with me. This is from The Tenderness of Wolves.

"Trying to make sense of it is like trying to gather the river in his arms."

This August is kind of like that. Be loved. Hugs, jcs