Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The South - You Gotta Love It



    Alabama

 
A group of  Alabama  friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.  That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind.  He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter.  "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!" 
   Georgia
 
The owner of a golf course in  Georgia  was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the  University  of  Georgia  and I need some help.  If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."  
Louisiana
 
A senior at  Louisiana  was overheard saying .. "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in  Louisiana ." When asked why, he replied, "He'd rather be in  Louisiana  because everything happens in  Louisiana  20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."
   Mississippi
 
The young man from  Mississippi  came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
 North Carolina
A man in  North Carolina  had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.  Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with t he flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  I never did understand it neither."
   Tennessee
 
A  Tennessee   State  trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.  The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
  
   Texas
 
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?  Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep", he replied.  "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, cause it says:  'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."
 You can say what you want about the South,
But you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North

 

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