"Emotional connection is a biological imperative and we pay a high price for ignoring it. Isolation is what's unnatural -- and deadly."
It says that to be emotionally healthy we must make connections.
I used to have a friend who was an emotional vampire. She would call me up to complain about her life. First her husband then one of her kids. I mean it was constant! If I had a problem with something her response would be "Oh really!" and then go right back to what she was talking about. I finally figured it out and eventually extracted myself from the situation (there were also other reasons but I won't go into them).
I have been accused of wearing my emotions on my sleeve and I have been thinking about that accusation. Yes I have. I didn't used to be that way. No one really knew me or about me. I had one person say something to me and I realized that her perception of me was flat and one sided. Because that was all I was willing to show her.
I want some emotions of joy in my life. People ask me if I miss teaching. I don't miss anything but the kids. Never having kids of my own I got into teaching because I love kids.
I also miss having a family. I grew up in a large extended family. Over the years that has diminished and now there are few of us. I never hear from most of them and frankly that is all right. Some of them said some very hurtful things when my sister had her problems. I find that hard to forget. I was hoping to be included in another family but that is obviously not going to work out.
You can't really make connections in a Lodge meeting. It is the after time that counts.
Making connections - Anybody have any suggestions? Don't suggest getting involved in a singles group or church. I am not interested in dating or sex. Just a chance a emotional closeness. Somebody I can be honest with who is willing to spend some time visiting about a wide range of things (not just lunch on a schedule) and do things spontaneously once in awhile. Someone who is willing and able to share their feeling freely with me and tell me when I f**k up.
As it says in the Council prayer - "Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am and not for what little I may possess."
Somebody is loved. Hugs and thanks for listening. j
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