Peripheral People

I get up every morning determined both to change the world and to have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning the day difficult. -E.B. White, writer (1899-1985)

The above quote was from my word of the day e-mail that I subscribe to. It does not describe the way I woke up this morning but I thought I'd share it anyway. Actually I woke up thinking about Peripheral People. These are the people around the outside of our lives we never quite connect with. We see them but we don't register who they are or what their lives may be like. We don't really look at them.

Most of the time I keep almost everyone in this category. Don't get me wrong I love people. I love to watch them and I interact with them quite well (most of the time) but I just don't let them into who I really am. Actually this blog is a way to change that. Most of my regular blog readers know me better than members of my family.

You have heard the statement about being "alone in a crowd" - I can do that. It's easy. You just say Hi, smile and never quite connect. Some people call it being "private." I've been that way for years. Until now. Actually I am probably still that way to a great degree but I am working on changing. Last summer a young Mason insisted on getting to know me (probably to his sorrow) and introduced himself to me twice. We started to talk and as I got to know him and his family I now consider them as my "family" Because of that I have "enlarged my tent" as the pastor said last Sunday and I have "lengthened my ropes". There are now a lot more people who know Jay Simser than before. (I am not sure that the tent stakes are any stronger than before, however).

Anyway I have always had a lot of "acquaintances" but not so many "friends" - My mother had "friends" I have always kept people at arms length - except for a few of them. Even those I love haven't always been invited into my tent. Now thanks to one person, insisting on being friends with me and showing me that I am valued I am opening up more and am feeling more fulfilled. I thank him. I don't know if he will read this blog entry or not but it is here and it expresses the heartfelt gratitude I will always have for him for those hours we sat and visited last summer. I hope we can do it again sometime.

Because of his persistence I telephoned someone I thought I might like and met him for coffee at Starbucks one day. We talked for over an hour and I feel much closer to him also. I hope the feeling is reciprocal. I have always felt close to a few people and there are some of them who are like sisters to me. But lately I haven't let many in. That is changing.

Two people who are now in my "tent" are Amy and Lee. I have gotten to know them better and am very comfortable with them. I loved them before. Now I like them - a lot. There is a difference. Last night Amy suggested that if they had a baby (sometime - no news yet) I could come to Dallas and move in. I suggested I could be "Uncle Nanny" - It was in fun but I am honored that she would suggest something like that.

I have one thing in common with my mother when it comes to babies. I am nuts about them. So last night I dreamed about taking care of babies. I was taking care of a baby, trying to mop the floor and control the dogs at the same time. No it can't be the bed I am in. I am in the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. It was given to Amy and Lee by a cousin on Amy's grandfather's side and I won't tell you what it cost but it is the most expensive bed I have ever slept in. At least four times the cost of my bed at home and it wasn't cheap.

So there I am taking care of the babies and Mom is in the next room running the shower and I have to get to school so I leave un showered and the next thing you know I am looking for a shower at the school so I can clean up before I teach. The school is always one of the old schools in Ames - either Beardshear of Roosevelt. They were my favorites. So you can see I am going slowly nuts. I have not had dreams I could remember for ages and I get down here and dream, wake up early thinking of Peripheral People (there should be a poem in that phrase) and how I could blog it.

Hope you all have a great day (2500 hits. Some from Europe and Asia also. Blogging is mind-boggling) Be Happy and Loved - Hugs. j