The Met Opera / Introspection

I owe Craig an apology. I was supposed to take him some things at 5:00. When I was talking to him I said I would drop them off at 5:15. Well, I forgot. Tonight was the Opening Night Gala at the Met. And they broadcast it live in High Definition. And it started at 5:00. So I dropped it off for him. And I went to the Opera. And I loved it. Renee Fleming starred in three different Acts from three different operas. If you click on the picture above you can read all about it on their site. It lasted until 9:30 with two intermissions.

One of the great things about it was the back stage scenes which they show. Almost 100 guys move the sets around between acts. It is impressive. As a "backstage" person I understand just how important these people are. We also saw that this was being broadcast to the folks at Times Square. And of course, all over the country.

One thing that really bothered me was the fact that people did not immediately stand up when they played the National Anthem. It wasn't "canned" or a recording. It was live. Besides I think you should stand no matter what when the Anthem is played. I stood up and one other person stood up at the beginning. Pretty soon many others were standing. But there were about 10 people who just sat there. They could applaud the arias but not stand. Jeeze!

The applause is also funny there are about 4 people who applaud everything. I think the applause is for the performers to let them know you appreciate their performance. They can't hear the applause and most people don't do it. But I guess if you want to you should be able to do it. But you shouldn't not stand for the National Anthem.

The next Met Opera broadcast will be on October 11. You can see the entire schedule here.

I don't really know what it is about Opera. I used to listen to the broadcasts on Saturday morning on WOI - FM. I can still recall the thrill that went through me when I heard Carmen live at C Y Stephens and also when I heard Beverly Sills sing there. It was a thrill to meet her and shake her hand. I got chills, tears and goosebumps tonight. So Craig, I apologize, I hope you got the things I dropped off. If not you will have to yell at someone behind the counter or at me.

The rest of the week is very busy. I have Masonic meetings Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. York, Scottish, Blue and SRICF so I needed to do something non Masonic tonight.

Pity Party follows you may quit reading here.

I have decided that I have a flaw. Well you all know that. I have written about this before. Some people just don't like me. There was a woman at the Theater tonight who made that obvious. Because of past events I worry that my friends will "drop" me and no longer be my friend. I don't know what I did to one person but e-mails go unanswered and phone calls are ignored. It has been over a year now. Another person really hurt me last summer when I did something that I thought would be nice for him and it turned our (so-called) friendship to trash. So much so that I hesitate to approach him for fear that I will be ignored or put down. It is much easier to stay away and I am going to try to do that. I doubt that we will ever be friends. And that is all right I can live with that.

The thing that is wrong with it is that I am afraid that my current friends will also drop me. I feel insecure and it shows. And that is a flaw. I used to use the phrase "To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." I feel badly but things happen and I get to worrying that I am not worthy of love and I don't trust people to like me. Perhaps because I probably don't like myself very much. Stupid I know but that's my flaw. That is why I get upset at rejection. I feel that certain people don't like me and I worry about it. Maybe I shouldn't but I do. Even when I am told that I am liked I don't always believe it. The funny part of it is that the people who don't like me really don't care what I think or feel. Some of them think it is just fine to ignore me or swear at me. I guess it may be.

Trevor was here this week-end and he made it a point to take some time to be with me. I loved it. He is a friend and a brother and seems to like me and I don't really understand why. But it was really nice to see him and to have some time with him. But he has moved to New York City so ours will become an e-mail relationship. Pisses me off.

Some people have promised me things and then don't follow through on it. I suppose it is child-like of me to expect that they will carry through on things and be disappointed if they don't come through. But I am still waiting for a 1) birthday dinner 2) coffee or lunch with someone 3) a call back or an e-mail from someone who used to be a friend. Stupid I know I should just let it go.

Gee, I haven't done a whine and cheeze post for quite awhile. Jay's pity party. If you have a friend and they mean something to you let them know. Some folks do and I really love them for doing so. Others use the knife and cut right to my heart. It must be the weather. Summer is over and F*&&ing Fall followed by an Iowa winter is coming. Plus my house is a mess. I feel like trailer trash.

Sorry for the downer post but I needed to get it out of my system and didn't feel like putting it on the private blog where I usually put crap like this. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs j