Found For Friday

A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled airline gate agent must rebook

a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry

passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first

class.

The agent replies, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy 

to try to help you, but

I've got to help these folks first."

The passenger screams, "Do you have ANY 

idea who I am?"

The gate agent grabs her public address 

microphone: "May I have your

attention, please? We have a passenger here WHO DOES NOT KNOW 

WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to 

gate 17."

The man grits his teeth, "Screw you."

She replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that,

too."

  George wanted to have an awesome summer pool party. Edith and Kate were invited, but wouldn't go because they hate each other. The moral of the story for George: You can't have your Kate and Edith too

 A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog stand and says "Make me one with everything".

 Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

 A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”

 Upon being invited to a “Scientist’s Ball”:

Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.

 Einstein thought it would be relatively interesting.

Ampere was worried that he wasn’t up to current fashions.

Ohm resisted the idea at first. 

 Boyle said attendance would put him under too much pressure.
Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.

 Watt calculated that it would be a good way to let off steam.
Stephenson thought the idea was loco.

 Wilbur accepted as long as Orville and he could get a flight scheduled.
Dr. Jekyll declined—he hadn’t been feeling himself lately.

 Morse replied, “I’ll be there on the dot.  Can’t stop.  Must dash.
Heisenberg was uncertain whether he could make it.

Hertz thought they should be scheduled at a higher frequency.

 Henry induced that other scientist would also be attending.
Audubon said he’d have to wing it.

 Hawking tried to string together enough time to make space for it in his schedule.

 Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?

 Descartes said he would think about it.

 Pavlov drooled at the thought.

 Volta was electrified at the notion.  

 Archimedes was buoyant about the idea of attending.

 Fulton said he would rather go boating with Boyle.

 Gauss thought he was invited strictly for his magnetic personality.

 Newton was moved to attend.  But then he considered the gravity of the moment and declined.

 Mendel said he would put some things together and see what came out.

 Darwin said he’d have to see what evolved.

Faraday begged off due to a low capacity for alcohol. 

And Tesla alternated about whether or not to go.

H/T Don M for most of today's post