Ken sent to Wayne who sent it to me.... truedat.

At 65 degrees above zero:
People in Florida turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.

At 60 degrees above zero:
     People in California shiver uncontrollably.
     People in Iowa sunbathe.

At 50 degrees above zero:
     Italian and English cars won't start.
     People in Iowa drive with the windows down.

At 40 degrees above zero:
     People in Georgia don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
     People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.

At 35 degrees above zero:
     New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
     People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.

At 20 degrees above zero:
     People in Miami all die.
     People in Iowa close the windows.
     
At zero degrees:
     People in Arizona fly away to Mexico.
     People in Iowa get out their winter coats.

At 10 degrees below zero:
     Hollywood disintegrates.
     Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.

At 20 degrees below zero:
     Washington, DC, runs out of hot air.
     People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.

At 30 degrees below zero:
     Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
     Iowans get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.

At 40 degrees below zero:
     ALL atomic motion stops.
     People in Iowa start saying, "Cold enough for ya?"

At 50 degrees below zero:
     Hell freezes over.
     Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.