Found for Friday

 Today's posters all come from my friend John who got them from friends who live in Wales.. so they are imported and that makes them funnier...

Two Welsh Girls in a Pub....
   
 
I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few drinks and I noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?"  

One of them turned to me and screamed, "It's WALES, you IDIOT!!"  

So, I immediately apologized, and said, "Sorry......Are you two whales from Scotland?"  

That's all I remember........

 Rhys: Doctor, I can’t stop singing the Green, Green Grass of Home.

Doctor: That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.

Rhys: Is it common?

Doctor: It’s not unusual.

  Cabbie Rhys Parry was taking an American tourist from Bristol to Cardiff. When they were going over the Severn Bridge, the American told Rhys he had a longer bridge on his ranch in Colorado. When they arrived in Cardiff, Rhys showed him Cardiff Castle and he said his garage in Colorado was twice as big and only took a week to build.

When the tourist spotted the Millennium Stadium, he asked Rhys what it was.

He replied: “I don’t know, mate, it wasn’t there this morning.”

 An English politician was giving a speech in Aberystwyth. He said: “I was born an Englishman. I have been an Englishman all my life, and I will die an Englishman!”

“What’s wrong, boyo?” shouted a voice from the crowd.“Got no ambition, have you?”

 Wales' second airport

The Welsh Assembly announced recently the opening of Wales's second airport, the Gurnos Estate International Airport in Merthyr Tydfil.
The first flight to arrive was the 11.50 Virgin Airlines Cross-Atlantic flight from America. The people from Gurnos estate were so excited that they raced to meet the flight, as it was the first Virgin seen in the area for 20 years.
The return journey to America was due for departure at 12.30, but it was delayed because when the pilot went to the aircraft he found it up on blocks and stripped to the bone. As a result every house in the Gurnos now has a new hall carpet, every lounge now has a reclining chair, every bed has new pillow cases, and Mrs Bowen who is living on the end of the street has a new number for the house, number 747.

 A group of Welshmen travelling home by train from Paddington became very merry in the bar and at regular intervals were heard to cheer

'Hurrah for Wales'.

A morose Englishman stood this for some time but finally turned towards them and retorted loudly

'Hurrah for Hell'.

'Fair enough', replied the Welsh, 'every man for his own country.'

 A group of English tourists climbing in Snowdonia came across a shepherd sitting at the top of the hill watching over his sheep.

"I suppose you can see a great distance from here on a clear day," said one of the tourists.

"Yes, indeed," said the shepherd seriously, "on a clear day you can see five television regions.

"I suppose on a clear day now you could see as far as London from this great altitude," said one of the climbers, nudging his companions.

"Oh, you can see much farther than that," said the shepherd.

"Further than London?" gasped the tourists.

"Oh, yes, further than America even."

"Further than America?" shouted the climbers, "that's impossible."

"Well," said the shepherd, "if you don't believe me, just you sit down here for a couple of hours and if the clouds will clear you'll see the moon.

 A little old lady, visiting the seaside at Conway for the first time, saw some men preparing to go fishing, collecting their baskets and nets.

She said to one of them: "What are those things?"

He said "Lobster pots."

She said "Go on, you'll never train them to sit on those things!"

 Two old ladies from Liverpool on holiday in Colwyn Bay decided to have their photograph taken by a beach photographer.

Having posed them suitably he disappeared under his old-fashioned black hood behind the camera.

"What's he doing now?" asked one of the old ladies, timidly.

"Oh, he's going to focus", replied the other. "What, both of us?"

An undertaker at a funeral was talking to a very old man from the next village.

"Tell me," he said, "how old are you now?"

"I shall be eighty-nine on my next birthday", was the reply.

"Really?", said the undertaker, "it's hardly worth your going home, is it?"