I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, 'You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.' Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes! 
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day
1 comment:
Thank you. That was brilliant and very funny.
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