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Be a Buddy, Not a Bully
By Nate Monson, Executive Director
We are reminded again through tragedy that bullying remains a critical issue impacting our youth, families, schools, and communities.Bullying is something that has become so prevalent in our society that nearly everyone can say that they or someone they know has been a victim of bullying. Bullying can take many forms including name calling, gossip, cyber-bullying, or even physical violence. It can have severe consequences including youth physically harming each other and themselves.
By Nate Monson, Executive Director
We are reminded again through tragedy that bullying remains a critical issue impacting our youth, families, schools, and communities.Bullying is something that has become so prevalent in our society that nearly everyone can say that they or someone they know has been a victim of bullying. Bullying can take many forms including name calling, gossip, cyber-bullying, or even physical violence. It can have severe consequences including youth physically harming each other and themselves.
Bullying rarely starts in its most violent form. It takes time to fester and grow into something worse. Words and phrases like 'fag', 'dyke', and 'that's so gay' are the start of this growth of bullying. I am reminded about a quote in the play The Laramie Project which documents the aftermath of Matthew Shepard's murder in Laramie, Wyoming. In the play the playwrights meet with a priest in town and the priest says "Every time that you are called a fag, or you are called a lez, or a dyke, do you realize that is violence? That is the seed of violence." When we allow students and adults even to say these things - that's the seed of violence. Violence rarely starts in its most vile form - it will grow as it gets fed by more words, cyber-bullying, or beginnings of physical harassment.
We must all work together to eliminate these seeds of violence. This isn't just a school's responsibility. This isn't just a family's responsibility. This is a community responsibility to eliminate the beginnings of bullying behavior. Faith communities, schools, local organizations, and businesses must all work together to ensure our state is a safe and supportive place for all students. We were reminded this past week that we have a long ways to go to be successful, but I believe it's possible.
I heard that one of Kenneth's favorite phrases was Be a Buddy, Not a Bully. We need to embrace this phrase and emulate it if we are to be successful. That means we must take that extra ten minutes out of a day and talk with a youth that seems to be sitting alone. That means we as adults need to exhibit positive behavior if we wish youth to follow suit. The little things make the biggest difference when it comes to bullying. Below you will find several resources and other research-based information on bullying that can help.
A number of vigils in memory of those lost to bullying and a number are happening tomorrow night across Iowa. I encourage you to look below at some that are happening and attend if you are able to.
If you know a student struggling with bullying, please encourage them to talk with their school administrator immediately. If you know a student who needs someone to talk to - The Trevor Project provides 24/7 LGBT youth suicide prevention assistance by calling 866-488-7386.
Together we can eliminate bullying.
Thank you for all your support,
The Latest
Iowa must refine its anti-bullying efforts, Branstad says
“It’s not an easy thing and I know maybe this is a difficult area for school districts but it is critically important that we do everything we can to make sure we have safety and security for all of our students in the state of Iowa.” - Governor Terry Branstad
OUR OPINION: We Must Stop Bullying. It starts here. And it starts now. Sioux City Journal Editorial, April 22, 2012
"We must make it clear in our actions and our words that bullying will not be tolerated. Those of us in public life must be ever mindful of the words we choose, especially in the contentious political debates that have defined our modern times. More importantly, we must not be afraid to act."
Iowa must refine its anti-bullying efforts, Branstad says
“It’s not an easy thing and I know maybe this is a difficult area for school districts but it is critically important that we do everything we can to make sure we have safety and security for all of our students in the state of Iowa.” - Governor Terry Branstad
OUR OPINION: We Must Stop Bullying. It starts here. And it starts now. Sioux City Journal Editorial, April 22, 2012
"We must make it clear in our actions and our words that bullying will not be tolerated. Those of us in public life must be ever mindful of the words we choose, especially in the contentious political debates that have defined our modern times. More importantly, we must not be afraid to act."
White House Endorses Safe Schools Bill and Student Non-Discrimination Act
"The White House today announced that President Obama is endorsing the Safe Schools Improvement Act (SSIA) and Student Non-Discrimination Act (SNDA), two bills pending in Congress to address bullying and discrimination faced by students across the nation."
"The White House today announced that President Obama is endorsing the Safe Schools Improvement Act (SSIA) and Student Non-Discrimination Act (SNDA), two bills pending in Congress to address bullying and discrimination faced by students across the nation."
Schools, parents try to keep pace with cyber-bullying tactics
"I felt like I almost had no one that would help me through it or be there for me," recalled Katie, 16, now a junior at Maryvale Preparatory School in Brooklandville. "You just feel alone. I kept telling myself, I'll be out of middle school in no time and I'll get a fresh start."
"I felt like I almost had no one that would help me through it or be there for me," recalled Katie, 16, now a junior at Maryvale Preparatory School in Brooklandville. "You just feel alone. I kept telling myself, I'll be out of middle school in no time and I'll get a fresh start."
Upcoming Events
Anti-Bullying/Community Vigils
· Cedar Rapids Vigil - April 24th, 2012
· Quad-Cities Vigil - April 24th, 2012
· One Loss is Too Many: Des Moines Community Vigil - April 24th, 2012
Iowa Pride Network Spring Soiree- April 26th, 2012
SAVE THE DATE - 8th Annual Iowa Governors Conference on LGBTQ Youth - March 27th, 2013
SAVE THE DATE - Protecting Kids Stopping Bullies Honors Reception - September 12th, 2012 - Honoree: Governor Chet Culver
SAVE THE DATE - Protecting Kids Stopping Bullies Honors Reception - September 12th, 2012 - Honoree: Governor Chet Culver
Anti-Bullying Resources The Trevor Project
If you or someone you know is being bullied and needs someone to talk to call The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386
If you or someone you know is being bullied and needs someone to talk to call The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386
StopBullying.Gov
Federal government's anti-bullying website complete with legal information and anti-bullying tips
Federal government's anti-bullying website complete with legal information and anti-bullying tips
GLSEN
Gay & Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN) provides lesson plans, resources, and a Safe Space Kit for schools
Gay & Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN) provides lesson plans, resources, and a Safe Space Kit for schools
The mission of Iowa Safe Schools is to: a) improve school climate in order to increase the personal safety, mental health, and student learning of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and allied (LGBTA) and all other students; b) increase awareness and understanding among current and future educators, school administrators, and key community agents of inequities regarding the safety of LGBTA students and their family member(s) in schools and communities throughout Iowa. Iowa Safe Schools also seeks to empower these key actors with effective, research-based tools and strategies to combat intolerance and safety inequities.
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