Found For Friday

Pastor painting church

It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted white and with a high steeple.

One Sunday, the pastor noticed that his church needed painting. He checked out the Sunday ads and found a paint sale. The next day, he went into town and bought a gallon of white paint. He went back out to the church and began the job.

He got done with the first side. It was looking great. But he noticed he had already used a half gallon. He didn't want to run back in town and being the creative person that he was, he found a gallon of thinner in the shed out back, and began to thin his paint.

It worked out great. He finished the remaining three sides with that last half gallon of paint.

That night, it rained: it rained hard. The next morning when he stepped outside of the parsonage to admire his work, he saw that the first side was looking great, but that the paint on the other three sides had washed away.

The pastor looked up in sky in anguish and cried out, "What shall I do?"

A voice came back from the heavens saying, "Repaint, and thin no more!"

 The museum had a 3-D exhibit depicting a modern funeral parlor. It was a die-orama.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I can't put it down.

 I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

 The report said I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

 A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

 Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

 Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz .

 Energizer bunny arrested. Battery charged.

 I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

 Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Bonus