Tunnels

This summer I had to drive through two tunnels on the way to Charlotte, NC for my meetings.  I loved everything about the ride except for driving through the tunnels.

When I drove into the tunnel I felt claustrophobic and had trouble seeing.  I was supposed to keep driving at 70+ mph but even the 55 I slowed down to made me uncomfortable.  I considered driving hundreds of miles out of my way to avoid driving through them on the way back home.

I feel like this business of losing my license for 6 months is sort of like driving through the tunnel at times.  Most of the time I am fine.  I have always "enjoyed my own company" as my mother said and I enjoy living alone.  I can read what I want or watch TVor surf the web and find blogs to read and talk to friends via e-mail. I can find out what is going on, pay my bills, order things and generally do most things except go to the grocery store.  My friend Su comes over and drives me in my car to get groceries and we usually eat out so that is nice.

I shop from a list in my head and sometimes I forget things so today (Monday) Ginny came over and picked me up and we ate at the Mandarin and she took me to the store.  I had forgotten to get some potatoes and veggies and an onion for some stew I was planning to make.  Also needed light bulbs.

Lunch at the Mandarin was good.  I had been hungry for their food and enjoyed the Sesame Chicken and Poo Poo Platter.  Ginny gave me an amaryllis for my birthday which is today and we had a good visit.  I realized just how much I appreciate having her in my life.

But it did make me feel a little sorry for myself to not have the ability to just get in the car and go to the store or the bank when I need to.  I will survive until March 25 and I will probably be back among them then. So if I think about it I can see the light at the end of the tunnel even if it is a long way off. And I will try and be a little nicer and look for people who may need someone to take them out for lunch or go to a movie.  Of course, most of my friends are Masonic and they don't operate that way and other friends must have forgotten about me...or perhaps I have forgotten about them.  It is not in my nature to ask people for help.  I don't like it when people treat me as an OLD person even though I am one.  I live in the fantasy that I am still in my 40s and can do things I used to be able to do.

I got over that when I tried to change some light bulbs today.  I could not lift my arm high enough to unscrew the fixture and when I finally did get it off and got the bulbs in I couldn't put the fixture back on.  Sucks to get old.

I shall try to be more positive tomorrow. Hugs, j