Found For Friday

 I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right.

The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse.

Just before he rode off, I yelled out,

"What was all that about?"

He replied,

"Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."

 Some people just need a pat on the back....right next to the stairs.

 From Mimi - Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!"

"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?

Brace yourself.

This is really going to hurt!

"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"

Oh for goodness sake... laugh, or at least groan.

Life's too short not to enjoy...... even these silly little cute..... and clean jokes.

Sounds to me like she's been "sweeping" around!

 An arrogant and cranky old man and his long-suffering wife were married for many years.  Whenever they had any argument, yelling could be heard deep into the night.  The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!".

The neighbors feared him.  The old man liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone’s relief, he finally died of a heart attack at the age of 98.

His wife had a closed casket at his funeral.  After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked "Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?".

The wife replied, "So let him dig:  I had him buried upside down.  And I know he won’t ask for directions."

 Thieves kidnapped the prized Asian ape because they believed in gibbon take.

 If you swallow uranium you will probably get atomic ache!

 A man who kept stealing mopeds was obviously a cycle-path.

 A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

 Freudian slip. When you say one thing and mean your mother.

 A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

I used to work in a blanket factory but it folded.

 Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

 When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

 Every calendar's days are numbered.

 He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Apology Letter To Spouse

Hi Sweetheart, 

I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something. I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season. Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights! I took the time to hang the lights for you today; and now I will be off to the hockey rink. 

Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I'll be home later. 

Love you! Don 

Her Response 

Hi Honey, 

Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don't often get an apology from you, and I truly appreciate it. I, too, felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize. I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy. I will try to respect your feelings from now on. Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot. In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you; and now I am off to the mall. 

I love you too! Fran

Bonus. This is making the rounds.  Funny!

Happy Week-end!