Clean - Finally

It wasn't quite this bad but it was getting pretty bad. The place was a mess. I used to have a cleaning lady but she just disappeared. I don't know what her problem was but one day she just stopped coming. I was needing a new person and finally David's wife took pity on me and agreed to take me on as a client.

She came over for the first time tonight and brought David with her so he and I had a great conversation while she worked. And she did a wonderful job. I am really glad she will be coming back. I wanted to be here the first time she cleaned if she had any questions but she really didn't need my help. I think she will come on Lodge night from now on while David and I are at Lodge. I am just so glad to have someone who will be regular and will help me out. If you need a cleaning lady e-mail me and I will give her your name. Of course she is not going to come to Spain (Yes I have readers in Spain and in Springfield, Illinois and in Granger, Iowa.. All over.) but she would be able to help out those around here.

I received a new "living Will" form in an e-mail the other day. Makes perfect sense to me:

New Living Will Form

I, ____________ _________ _____, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/ hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Martini ______a Margarita ____ __ a Scotch and soda ______a Bloody Mary ______a Gin and Tonic _______a Glass of Chardonnay ______a Steak ______Lobster or crab legs ______The remote control ______a bowl of ice cream ______The sports page ______Chocolate or ______Sex

It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ____________ _________ ______ Date: ____________ _________

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE pass it on!

Sounds just about right to me. Have a great week-end and ARTYAL. Hughs j-bear