Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
Coming to grips with the New Technology
I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
"This is the 21st century, old man," he said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPod."
I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it...
Little Boy : But I don't know how to pray
Dad: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc.
Little Boy : "Dear Lord" he started "Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream.
Bless them so they won't come again.
Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy's blackberry
and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work.......
AMEN "
Mom and Dad did not have dinner that evening......
A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.
People can't seem to agree on Global Warming because it's a polar icing issue.
The Bureau of prisons just announced the release of a serial bank robber who had looted over 30 banks before his capture.
The parole board says he is completely rehabilitated and has found employment at his home in Prague.
Yes, that is correct…
They were able to right a bad Czech
When a cow gives birth she not only gives cream, she is de-calf-inated
Optometrists live long because they dilate.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Enjoy your week-end!
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