Found for Friday

Only great minds can read this

This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too


Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of
100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to
a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't
mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,
the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and
lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can
be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but
the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I
awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you
can raed tihs forwrad it

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares one year ago in:
1) Delta Airlines, you will have $49.00 today.
2) AIG, you will have $33.00 today.
3) Lehman Brothers, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on that, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Makes you proud to be an American!

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

...complaints from letters written to UK County Councils ...


1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.

4. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

5. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it had backfired and burnt my knob off.

6. And their 18 yr old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job to satisfy my wife.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.



11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have 2 children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.


16. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6 a.m. His cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me.

18. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly, then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

19. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.


21. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor 6 times but I still have no satisfaction.

23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.__
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.__
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.___
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

Is this statutory rape (or a moosedimenor)?

Click to enlarge.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week-end. Hugs, H-bird