Found For Friday

The original "hot" dog.A married couple in their early 60s were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny, yet beautiful, fairy appeared on their table. She told them: 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant You each a wish.'

The wife answered: 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'

The fairy waved her magic wand and - hey presto - two tickets for the Carnival destiny appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportun!ty like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and - hey presto! - the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful blighters should remember fairies are female.

Famous Jack Parr Joke about a Water Closet (toilet)

An English lady, while visiting Switzerland, was looking for a room for a more extended stay, and she asked the schoolmaster if he could recommend any to her. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled, the lady returned to her home to make the final preparations to move.
When she arrived home, the thought suddenly occurred to her that she had not seen a "W.C." around the place. So she immediately wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking him if there were a "W.C." near the room.
The schoolmaster was a very poor student of English, so he asked the parish priest if he could help in the matter. Together they tried to discover the meaning of the letters "W.C.," and the only solution they could come up with for the letters was for a Wayside Chapel. The schoolmaster then wrote the following note to the English lady:


Dear Madam:

I take great pleasure in informing you that the W.C. is situated nine miles from the room that you will occupy, in the center of a beautiful grove of pine trees surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding about 229 people and it is only open on Sunday and Thursday.
As there are a great number of people who are expected during the summer months, I would suggest that you come early; although, as a rule, there is plenty of standing room. You will no doubt be glad to hear that a good number of people bring their lunch and make a day of it. While others who can afford to go by car arrive just in time.
I would especially recommend that your ladyship go on Thursday when there is a musical accompaniment. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the W.C. and it was there that she met her husband.
I can remember the rush there was for seats. There were ten people to a seat ordinarily occupied by one. It was wonderful to see the expression on their faces. The newest attraction is a bell donated by a wealthy resident of the district. It rings every time a person enters.
A bazaar is to be held to provide plush seats for all the people, since they feel it is a long felt need. My wife is rather delicate, so she can't attend regularly. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you, if you wish, where you will be seen by everyone.
For the children, there is a special time and place so they will not disturb the elders.
Hoping to have been of service to you, I remain,

Sincerely,

The Schoolmaster.

A shorter and modified version of the W.C. Joke
An English lady visited Switzerland and was having difficulty finding a room, so she asked the local schoolmaster to help her. After a satisfactory room was found, she returned to her home in England and started packing. Suddenly, it occured to her that she hadn't noticed a W.C.,so she wrote the schoolmaster about it. The Schoolmaster not knowing the meaning of W.C., asked the parish priest and together they decided that it must mean "Wayside Chapel". He wrote her the following letter:

Dear Madame,
It is my pleasure to inform you that there is a W.C. just nine miles from your new home, in the center of a grove of pine trees. It seats 229 people, and is open on Thursdays and Sundays. This is an unfortunate situation if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will, no doubt, be glad to hear that some people bring their lunches and make a day of it.
I would especially recommend Thursdays, for then there is an Organ accompaniment. The accoustics in the W.C. are excellent; even the most delicate sound can be heard.
My son was married in the W.C. and there was such a rush for seats that ten people had to sit in the same seat. The looks on their faces were very interesting.
My wife is sickly, but dedicated. She doesn't go regularly, and hasn't gone for nearly a year.
I will be glad to reserve a seat in the W.C. for you, where you will be seen and heard by everyone.

Hoping I have been of some assistance.

Sincerely yours,

The Schoolmaster

Ready For Cracker Jokes?
by Grandmère Mimi

Ready or not, here they come:

Q.) How do crazy people go through the forest?
A.) They take the psycho path.

Q.) What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A.) A stick.

Q.) What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A.) Nacho cheese.

Q.) What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A.) Frostbite.



Q.) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A.) A nervous wreck.

Q.) How do snowmen get around?
A.) On their icicle!!

Q.) What kind of pump can you eat?
A.) A pumpkin!!

Q.) What is white and crumbly and swings through trees?
A.) A meringue!!

Q.) Who babysits for the kids?
A.) A nanny-goat!!?

The fawn in the next pictures came in the house through the dog door
and made him(or her) self right at home.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away." --Unknown

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching." --Satchel Paige

"You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing." --Michael Pritchard

One more success story of the American Spelling program.

"Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can." --Danny Kaye

"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much." --Bessie A. Stanley

"Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It's never too late to be who you might have been." --George Eliot

"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough." --Joe E. Lewis

"Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death." --James F. Byrnes

"Success is a journey, not a destination." --Arthur Ashe