Found For Friday

Not much this week - But here goes.


Received a letter from my grandmother last week. She is
eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grandson,

The other day I went up to our local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by thunderous prayer meeting. So I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, I'm glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!

Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,
"For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ Go!"
What an exuberant Cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and I started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach".

I saw another guy waving in a funny way.. with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked your cousin George in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign back.

George burst out laughing... why, even he was enjoying this religious experience! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them.

After all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonders

Love,
Grandma

WARNING
This is the worst joke ever.
DANGER OF INTERNAL BLEEDING

Not many people know it, but Satan actually wears a wig. You'd never know if you weren't told: It's a perfect fit.

Anyway, down in the world of fire and brimstone one guy did find out, and he decided to have a little practical joke. So one night, he sneaks past the guardian demons and manages to get all the way into Satan's bedchamber. He makes off with the hair-piece and makes good his escape.

Well, of course, the Prince of Darkness was most displeased by this, and so he rounds up his demons and demands to know which of them had been so lazy as to let someone sneak past them. Naturally, none of them owns up, which makes him even madder. So he calls a general meeting of everyone the underworld: everyone has to attend. The meeting is held in a huge cavern, and it's absolutely packed (except for the odd gap in the crowd, where there's a lava-pit or bottomless fissure in the floor). As Satan steps up to speak, everyone sees that he's got no hair, and peals of laughter start echoing out around the hall. The Devil bellows at them to be quiet, and a deadly hush falls.

"Whoever stole it," he shouts, "had better return it immediately!"

"Or else there'll be Hell Toupee!"

stolen from Madpriest




Proof That Men Have Better Friends
by Grandmère Mimi

Friendship among Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.