The Last York Rite Festival

Pictures from the York Rite Festival in downtown Des Moines. April 26, 2008

James Nagel, PGHP

Frank Osdoba (the bane of my existance - He with the ever present camera - He is as bad or worse as I am. ) in the purple coat.

You can see that he was as thrilled to have his picture taken as I was when he took one of me earlier. That is Rick Butler, Grand High Priest on the left.

Les and Rusty in the robing room. Less is a Past Grand Master and Rusty is the current head of the downtown York Rite.

Ames York Rite Head, David Baker and two of our candidates.
Randy Wilkerson and Mike Loftin.
The picture just below them is our other candidate from Ames. Trevor Owens. Trevor had changed his hair style and I didn't recognize him. Oh to be young and have hair. Sigh.

The class of 18 new Companions and Sir Knights

The Principal Sojourner dressed for his part. He has a mammoth part in the Royal Arch Degree and does a super job.

Above is my friend Kurt eating lunch.

Some of the "brass" visiting. Nice Bling guys.

This is probably going to be the last Festival for me. I went today because I had promised David Dryer that I would do a part. Last week Someone hurt my feelings - again. He probably doesn't even know that he did but you know over the past year that person has hurt me more than any other person has ever hurt me in my life. I invested so much in what I thought was a friendship that I made myself very vulnerable and once again last week I was made to feel like shit. I left and did not even attend the meeting. I thought I was over it but it was obvious that night that I wasn't and it still hurts. I am not going to be able to completely stay away from this individual but why beat myself up. I have always found the following scripture helpful.

8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren. 9 Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.

Some people are upset with me because they think I should not let one person keep me away from something I enjoy. Unfortunately the straw seems to have broken this camel's back. I am so tired of being the one in the wrong and suffering rejection and having someone I cared about treat me like a persona not gratis that I have decided to withdraw from most activities where he is going to be. I cannot withdraw completely but at least I can stay away from most of them. To that end I doubt that I will be around the York Rite much or Acanthus. And besides I am not enjoying being there and being treated that way. He once said to me that the "bottom line was that we would be friends." Well, that just isn't going to happen. I refuse to open myself up to disappointment and hurt when there are so many other people who do like me and care about me.

I really don't think this person knows how to be a friend. If he did we would not have gotten to this place in our "relationship" -- if we ever really had a relationship. So they will get along without me and if some people want to see me I will be glad to have lunch or dinner or coffee. I am tired of being hurt and upset and frankly I have nothing to offer this person anyway. His "star" is on the way up and mine has obviously burnt out.

After I left the meeting I went out to Costco and got some gas and a few staples (steaks butter, some dip and a book. Then I stopped at Toys R Us to pick up a birthday present for a special little girl and met Tim Bonney to give him the Jewel and Apron for the Allied Masonic Degrees. I had joined the Knight Masons and the AMD in Washington DC at Masonic Week in the early 90's I got a life membership in the Knight Masons and when they organized the two groups here in Des Moines I was asked to join and to be the Ex. Chief of the Knight masons. I was honored but again this led to strife with a couple of individuals and it became obvious that I was not going to be able to motivate these gentlemen so that the Council would be viable and a Charter would be obtained. I withdrew.

Later I regretted that but was told I would not be allowed to rescind my leaving because it was my fault that they would not get their charter. My fault, I don't think so. I tried to get them to organize and do by-laws and then to find a time for a meeting and was told "why do we have to meet" - So I felt that leaving was my best option as I did not want to be the one to be blamed when they did not get their charter in February. I guess I still get the blame because they did not get the Charter. I guess it is for the best because that is all a part of the hurt I still feel from last summer.

Anyway I got rid of the Apron and Jewel. One person (who remains a friend) said at least I hadn't thrown it out along side of the road. I will still wear my Knight Mason's lapel pin on occasion because I am a life member and they can't take that away from me.

Iowa Research Lodge is meeting as I type this. I am very disappointed in that organization. I did not attend that meeting because I am feeling so down about things that I have lost most of my enthusiasm for things Masonic. Perhaps it will come back. No matter how much this person has hurt me I still care for him and wish him well. I found this poem when I was in college - I loved it then and I try to live by it now.

I cultivate a White Rose.
In July as in January.
For the sincere friend,
who gives me his hand frankly.

And for the cruel person,
who tears out the heart which I live.
I cultivate neither nettles nor thorns:
I cultivate a White Rose.

Jose Marti, Cuban Poet and Patriot

As long as I am writing this I have only one more thing to say - something I heard a long time ago.

"Remember it is nice to be important, but it is so much more important to be nice."

I am going to watch Craig Ferguson tonight and read and lick my hurt feelings and try to keep my spirits up. However many days I have left on this earth I want them to be happier than they have been this past year. Always Remember That You Are Loved, Hugs, j